Onnellista Uutta Vuotta!

For the second year in a row, I joined various members of my extended family at the Finn Center to ring in the new year on Helsinki time.  (My Mom’s family is from Finland.)  So, at 5 p.m. local time, with our tiaras and hats on our heads and noise makers going strong, we all shouted “Onnellista Uutta Vuotta!”  We had a champagne toast to ring in 2007 and toasted two other relatives (one in northern Michigan and one in Florida) who said they would ring in the new year on Helsinki time too!  Then, we enjoyed a great meal and dessert and had a chance to visit.  It’s a great tradition and we’re all home safe well before the new year arrives here and can be cozy in our pajamas at midnight, which is perfect for me.

Happy New Year!!

Managing Energy

I’ve had significant health problems for all of my adult life.  I was sick to the point of being disabled in my very early adulthood, and my college education was delayed for six years because of that.  At that time, a big outing was going to the movies with my aunt.  That time almost seems like a bad dream because it’s so removed from what my life is like now, but my life now also seems like a dream at times.  I’ve lived in my own apartment for more than two years and it’s still surprising to me that I’m here sometimes!

My health began to improve on New Years Day 1997 (that was a phenomonally great day!), so it’s been just about 10 years now.  I wasn’t “cured” on that day but we got a lot more aggressive with treating one of my medical problems, and we finally gained the control over symptoms that I needed.  It’s amazing what just having stable or predictable fluctuations in symptoms can do.  Eight months later, I was in school, and about four years after that, I graduated from college.

My life looks pretty normal to any outsider now.  I live on my own, work full-time, and have a full life outside of work with website management, volunteer projects, and a growing social life.  I am the family photographer.  I went to Disney World a few years ago!  I love to play the piano, dance, go to classical music concerts and plays and gymnastics meets.

And I still have health problems, and I still have to be careful to manage my energy.  I never got all-the-way better.  I topped out at about 85 percent of normal.  Believe me, I’m not complaining!  But it’s very hard sometimes to explain to healthy people that I can’t do all the things they’d expect of me or of another 33 year old.  I look well, and I do all this normal stuff, so what’s up?  The reason my life works as well as it does is because I’m efficient with the activities I do and because I’m fiercely protective of my down time on weekends and certain weekday evenings.  I can’t do it all.  The things that need to be done get done — work, laundry, grocery shopping, church, medical visits, some minimal cleaning.  But that 15 percent of energy that I’m missing means that my apartment isn’t always as clean as it could be, that sometimes I have weird meals because I don’t feel up to cooking, that I turn down lots of weekend activities (which has ticked off my co-workers more than once when we’ve had big department events on Saturdays), and that I limit travel and big adventures to times when I’m not teaching.  Doing more than my body can handle backfires in dramatic ways, and it’s scary sometimes how close I walk to the edge of what I’m capable of just with my weekly activities.  But until I have to explain to someone why I can’t do something they want me to do, all of this is so automatic that I don’t think about it much.  I certainly don’t usually mention to people all the stuff I don’t do.  I just do what I can reasonably do, report happily about those activities, and say no when I have to.  And, you know, I find that because of my having to practice assertive self-care, I really honor other people’s assertive self-care and am proud of them for sticking up for their well-being and protecting their energy and resources in ways that are healthy for them.

She says yes

I checked out the original BBC version of “Shadowlands” from the library.  It is a sad movie but has some of the most touching dialogue I’ve ever heard.  And I absolutely loved Jack’s marriage proposal.

“Will you marry this foolish, frightened old man who needs you more than he can bear to say and who loves you even though he hardly knows how?”
– C. S. “Jack” Lewis, Shadowlands

Teaching Thursdays #17

I loved Mr. Rogers.  I watched his program well past the point of young childhood, and I think I appreciated his work even more as an adult.  He lived the values that I want to embrace completely in my life, highlighted by compassion and grace.

I recently found this quote and knew I had to share it here:

“The two most important ingredients of education are: knowing that we’re valued, and being in the presence of people who want to share with us something of this world that they love.”
– Fred Rogers

Inertia

It’s days like these that make me wonder how I ever manage to get enough energy up to work!  But, I blame it on inertia.  The body in motion (i.e., working and keeping up with other activities) tends to stay in motion.  But, the body at rest — with this week off from both of my jobs — tends to stay at rest.  And rest, I have.  I was so tired when the semester ended, like 15 weeks of working my behind off finally caught up with me.

I do love this time of year, not just because of the holidays but because a very tangible new beginning comes next week.  I know it’s just a calendar flipping over, and in some ways, it’s irrelevant, but it’s never felt that way to me.  It feels like a time to let go of all the good and the bad of the current year and to behold the hope of a brand new year.  So, this week, my mind reflects on the year and my life at this point in time, and my body just rests.

Home for Christmas

It’s been a very nice Christmas here.  I went to church with my Mom this morning at 10 o’clock and then spent the day at my parents’ house.  My brother brought his two dogs (including his new puppy!) and a friend’s dog to entertain us this morning.  We had such fun watching the three of them try to play with one toy!

This afternoon, my cousin’s son Lucas entertained all of our extended family for the second Christmas in a row.  He is 18 months now and a very busy little boy.  He was playing dinosaur (raaaahhhrrr!) with my brother and peeking around corners with just about everyone.  We enjoy having a family baby around so much!  We all enjoyed a great Christmas dinner, and I was especially happy to have home cooked (i.e., Mom cooked) meals for two days in a row.

It always seems like Christmas goes so fast once it gets here, and it’s hard to believe it’s over already.  I didn’t catch “It’s a Wonderful Life” on TV this year, so I’m going to watch it on DVD this evening.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas

“O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth…”

Wishing you all a Christmas that is rich with blessings and fellowship.  Enjoy and be well!

Dreams and medical stuff

I had a dream last night that someone who I don’t know basically kidnapped me (but in a nice way…?) and drove me to a motel where I stayed the night.  I had no idea where I was.  But when I woke up in the morning, I looked out the window and saw the hotel sign that said something like Hilton by the White House.  I was in Washington D.C.!

I was gleeful to be in that area!  Many of my thoughts have been there this week anyway, as my friend Heather made her third visit to the NIH this year.  (By the way, I checked her blog for news about as often as I checked the baby blogs for birth news — and Heather’s news from the NIH was good!)  Anyway, in the dream, I set out on foot to the NIH to see Heather!  From the White House to the NIH on foot is quite a trek, but by the magic of dreams, I got there pretty quickly.  As I was waking up this morning, I had not yet gotten through NIH security so never did get to see Heather.  Darn security!

When I think back over 2006 and specifically the medical aspects of the year, of course, my NIH trip in August was a huge deal.  A year ago, I had no clue at all that my 2006 would include that journey.  And though I’m grateful for the expertise of the docs and especially nurse practitioner Kevin at the NIH and glad I had the opportunity to go there, I’m probably even more glad that my participation in the study pretty much directly led me to a new group of friends who helped me feel less alone in my medical journey.

It’s been four years since I was diagnosed with a bleeding disorder caused by platelet dysfunction.  The specific kind of problem I have is very rare, and as I have mentioned before (and as Heather talks about too), if you have a rare disorder, the burden of keeping up with research and developments tends to fall on the patient’s shoulders.  That is a huge burden to carry.  Huge.  So, to now not only have access to doctors who are leading the way with the research but also to have friends who know what it’s like to bleed like this, to have rare medical problems, and to participate in the research has been life-changing.  My world got bigger and less scary all at the same time.  I am so grateful for that.

Will-o-mania

I’ve seen two Will Smith movies this week and would definitely recommend both. 

My Mom and I went to see “The Pursuit of Happyness” the other day, which is billed as a rags to riches story but is really the class of the field in that category.  It’s a movie with a lot of heart.  And Will Smith learned how to solve the Rubik’s Cube for the part!  He solves it about as fast as I do, and though neither of us will win any speed competitions (the world record is less than 20 seconds), we’re good solid solvers who can get the job done reliably in a few minutes time.

I also checked out the movie “Hitch” from the library yesterday.  It was so much better than it ever looked in the previews!  It’s about a dating coach and actually has a lot of positive messages in that regard.

And here endeth my movie recommendations for today.

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P.S. The title of this post is actually the name of a song from “Will Rogers Follies.”  A different Will, but an entirely enjoyable stage production/musical.  It’s a lot of fun!

Teaching Thursdays #16

The semester is over, and I’m on break for about three weeks now from teaching.  People always envy the long breaks that teachers get, but what they never seem to fully realize is that teachers don’t get weekends or evenings off most of the time.  So I tell people that these breaks at the holidays and, for some, over the summer, are when teachers finally get their weekends.  That being said, I will use a day or two of my break to get things ready for winter term…but not for at least a week!

Remember last week, when I said it was always sad to say goodbye to my students at the end of the term?  Well, I had been teaching the first course in a two-course sequence this past semester.  And, this week, through a weird series of events that completely changed my teaching schedule for next term, I ended up with the second course in the sequence and will have at least eight of the same students I had this term!!  I e-mailed them with the news and they are so excited.  I am so excited!  It’s a new class for me, which means new class prep again (i.e., lots of work), but I’m so glad to get to keep some of my students and I think it will be a fun class to teach.

And now, it’s time for a nap.  *giggles*